


We Can’t.

by Demial



Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-02 01:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17878523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demial/pseuds/Demial
Summary: You summon Diarmuid and it's love at first sight. Because damn, why wouldn't it be?!?! Gender neutral reader.





	We Can’t.

You were one to always do your research. You were nervous when you didn't. You read up on Diarmuid's legend long before you summoned him. What happened to him was tragic, yes. You just decided not to bring it up. What concerned you was his love spot. You were concerned that your magical ability wasn't good enough to resist it. The remnants of your mage family hadn't been able to give you much preparation and winning the Grail would be huge for returning them to the powerful position they were once in.  
  
The lancer smiled at you for the first time and confirmed your fears. Your heart sank and soared at the same time. Happy pink hearts could have clouded your vision.  
  
You were able to put that aside for now and pursue the Holy Grail. It was a high like no other, quickly falling into a rhythm. You covered each other's backs and your magic enhanced his attacks. Diarmuid was a blur of colours--forest green, yellow, and red--and you were actually keeping up! You wanted to pinch yourself, you worked so well together. The Holy Grail seemed within reach if this kept up.  
  
That meant you had to push your feelings down and hide them even harder. After every day of battling other mages and servants, Diarmuid checked in with you on his performance. It was important to him to hear your approval.  
  
"How did I defend you today, Master?" he asked, watching you with those lovably dopey eyes.  
  
"That was awesome!!" you exclaimed.  
  
His face lit up with a soft, sweet smile. You were fulfilling his wish to be a loyal warrior to a good master.  
  
At first, you had no issue answering honestly. From the heart. Every fight you felt closer and closer to Diarmuid. It got harder and harder not to reach out and take his hand and hold it like you yearned. Tt set off alarm bells. Every time you got a glimpse of his dreamy amber eyes, it got worse. So you put more distance between you. Got colder.  
  
"How did I fight today, Master?"  
  
"Well," you replied curtly.  
  
He studied your face.  
  
"Are you feeling alright?"  
  
"I'm fine. I'm just tired. Let's rest. We worked hard."  
  
"Yes, Master," he answered because it was true that you had worked hard.  
  
Your attitude became gradually worse, until you snapped at him for no good reason. That prompted him to ask why.  
  
You tried to deny something was wrong but you couldn't lie to his beautiful face. All he got was a deer-in-headlights stare.  
  
"Tell me. Did I let you down as a servant?"  
  
"No."  
  
You shook your head vigorously. You didn't want him thinking that.  
  
"I see. Are you sick?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I see."  
  
The silence that followed needled your heart.  
  
"I hope you are not lying to me," he said.  
  
That was when you caved. You couldn't bear him thinking that, either.  
  
"I have feelings for you!" you blurted.  
  
Diarmuid's astonishment told you nothing either way. Whether he was disappointed or welcomed the news.  
  
"You made me say it," you grumbled, crossing your arms.  
  
"I didn't realize, Master. How do you want to proceed?"  
  
He straightened up and waited for your reply. That just made you angrier. He was being so reasonable. You were trying to stop yourself from falling for him further and here he was, being an excellent servant.  
  
"Well, we can't...we can't..."  
  
Your feelings threatened to spill out. Your heart was aching to empty the truth before him.  
  
"I know," Diarmuid interrupted quietly. "You have a duty to your family. And I have a duty to you. Those duties must come first."  
  
You knew what he was saying. You nodded.  
  
"Right," you managed to say.  
  
You didn't have the courage to argue. If he rejected you out loud, you were afraid of the heartbreak. You dropped the subject right away.  
  
You were sure you were doing the right thing, but it got worse before it got better. Diarmuid made a mistake and took an injury to his leg, putting him out of commission for a couple of days. He was embarrassed.  
  
"I apologize." He kept his head bowed and didn't look you in the eyes. "I won't let it happen it again."  
  
/Good! I don't want to see you hurt!/ was what you wanted to bark at him. Instead, you scolded him for the apology and told him just to rest.  
  
Then he got injured again, this time in the arm. It was so soon after the last injury that you had to speak to him about it.  
  
"Diarmuid?"  
  
"Master?"  
  
"Is something wrong? Is the old injury still bothering you?"  
  
"It's not that," he replied, staring straight ahead and not at you.  
  
"Then what it is?"  
  
Diarmuid turned to face you, worry creasing his face. It gave you the feeling of getting your hopes up and them being painfully dashed at the same time. You sighed silently to yourself.  
  
"I don't want to see you hurt. It hurts me to see you like this." He did what you yearned. He took your hand. He put it to his face. He shut his pretty eyes and nuzzled your palm. "I feel the same. And I don't think I can fight my best for you while my heart is breaking."  
  
"What about your duty?"  
  
He opened his eyes and you allowed yourself to get lost in them.  
  
"I realized I can have both. You and my honour."  
  
"Because we work so well together?"  
  
"Mhmm."  
  
"I'm so happy," you gushed gently.  
  
Diarmuid took his face from your hand and put his forehead to yours. You giggled and pushed the kinky curl back from his face.  
  
"It tickles."  
  
He smiled. "You're beautiful when you smile. Let me kiss you."  
  
He stepped close, until you could feel his body heat and his face was all you could see. You couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed the hair on the back of his head and pulled him in for the kiss you'd been waiting for since you saw him. He moaned quietly and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss.


End file.
